Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
Don’t worry, be happy. Easier said than done when something is weighing on your mind. We’re leaving for our doctor appointment in about an hour and I’m feeling pretty nervous today. The verse above has been on my mind since I woke up this morning. I just keep repeating, “Be anxious for nothing…be anxious for nothing…be anxious for nothing.” It’s not always easy to keep a positive attitude and to not be worried and fearful. As I’ve said before, I believe without a doubt that we will get through this fire and be blessed on the other end, no matter what the outcome. Even with that belief though, I don’t want to have to go through the pain of losing my child. I’m scared to death of that. I can’t imagine what I feels like. Sunday morning, I was following along in my Bible at church and a verse jumped off the page at me
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” – Matthew 26:39 (NIV)
A little background on that verse: Jesus is about to be crucified and He is scared. He’s praying that God would keep Him out of this “fire,” but ultimately He wants what God wants, even if that means He is tortured to death on a cross. Some may wonder, “What’s the big deal? He knew He’d be raised from the dead later and everything would be okay.” Or you may ask, “Why didn’t He just use His powers to save Himself or leave if He knew this was coming?” Well, just because He knew it would all turn out okay in the end, didn’t mean it wasn’t still painful being beaten and nailed to a giant piece of wood. And He didn’t run away because He knew God’s plan was best and He trusted that. Opinions may differ here, but that’s my first thought on the subject. Okay, sermon over.
I feel like I can totally relate to Matthew 26:39 these days. Please God don’t let us go through this horrible experience. It’s gonna hurt! Please save us from experiencing this pain. Please save our baby!!!! But I trust you 100% God and I know that whatever your plan for us is, everything is going to be okay. So I’ll do my best to not worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright.
Please pray for my doctor appointment this afternoon. Please pray that our baby’s heart is still beating and that it’s strong! Please continue to pray for healing for our baby. And please continue to pray for peace for Tim and I, that we won’t be anxious about anything, that we will continue to put our trust in God’s plan and that He will give us calm spirits.
I probably won’t update the blog for a few more days, so just keep those good thoughts and prayers coming! Thanks everyone!