“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (The Message)
We are surrounded by amazing people and by God’s love. There is no other way for me to describe the past couple weeks other than feeling completely surrounded. Several interesting and wonderful things have happened since our last doctor appointment. I believe God is preparing our hearts for the journey ahead.
First, a friend of mine shared a link with me about a family who has been going through a similar situation as ours. They were also told early on their child had a very rare problem in the brain that would not allow their baby to live outside the womb. I have gotten lots of stories like this through our journey and I’ll be honest, I don’t always check them out and the ones I do, I usually skim through because it’s just too painful. But for some reason, I decided (actually I felt an annoying nagging) to check it out. I started skimming through the story and was able to pick out a few details between the tears. Suddenly, a flash went off in my head and I realized that the story I was reading was one I had heard before. My doctor has been trying for months to get Tim and I in touch with this couple and we have very politely refused, saying we weren’t ready. Not only that, this couple has been receiving care at the same facility and at the same time that I receive my care. Not only that, but at one point several months ago the ultrasound tech briefly mistook me for this other woman because our stories regarding our babies’ brains and our decision to rely on our faith are so similar. Once all those dots were connected in my brain, I thought “God is pushing us toward this couple.” What are the odds that a couple our age would be going through such a similar tragedy with such rare problems at the same time as us and in the same place? Those are God odds. I emailed this woman, but I don’t expect to hear back from her right now. They just lost their sweet baby and are trying desperately to pick up the broken pieces of their hearts. However, I will be telling my doctor tomorrow that we are now definitely feeling open to speaking with them whenever they are able to do so. Please keep this couple in your prayers as they heal and if you would like to follow their story as well and be updated on how you can pray for them, here is their link: Loving London.
In addition to feeling a real God presence in the situation above, I feel like God hasn’t allowed a lot of time for fear to sneak in these past few weeks. He has completely engulfed us in activities. We’ve had several Christmas parties, work has been crazy for both of us, and we’ve been invited to be with friends almost every single night of the past two weeks. It may sound a little chaotic and overwhelming, but this has been an answer to prayer. We have been so busy being uplifted by the people around us, we haven’t had a chance to wallow in any misery. Of course, we’re still processing everything going on and trying to prepare ourselves for our doctor appointment tomorrow. We are still crying and hoping and praying for a miracle. We are sad, but we are supported. Our friends and family are holding us up. They are there to help us walk along this path when we feel like we don’t have much strength left.
This past Sunday our preacher gave everyone an opportunity during the sermon to text in what they are thankful for. Everyone’s texts were shown on the screen anonymously. Tim and I participated, first saying how thankful we are for the support of our church family. I added how thankful I am for my amazing husband. As I sat there for a few minutes I thought about how thankful we are for this baby girl. I thought for a while about how I wanted to phrase this special text. “We’re thankful for our baby girl, the time we get with her and the promise that she is in God’s hands.” I got about half way through and realized I could no longer see my phone through my tears. Timmy saw what was happening and held me close and his own tears started to come. Within seconds (literally) of that text going up on the screen, we were surrounded…literally. Suddenly a good portion of the congregation was sitting around us, crying with us, holding us, comforting us. It was an overwhelming blessing.
Tomorrow we meet with our doctor again for another ultrasound. We are hoping to set a date for the C-section. We are asking for prayers of peace for this. Right now we are not scared, but that may change when we have an official “end date.” I hate that this pregnancy is almost over. We continue to pray for a miracle and we continue to pray for peace and acceptance if and when we meet our sweet baby girl just to say goodbye to her.