Well, I hope everyone had a happy Christmas! Timmy and I did! We got to spend time with our families and we were very spoiled this year. Now that the holiday commotion has calmed down, I suppose it’s time for an update.
Our last doctor appointment went well. Usually we leave feeling pretty blah, but this last time we both felt pretty good. I don’t know why or what was different about this visit, but it was nice to leave feeling peaceful instead of feeling a negative weight of reality on our shoulders. At the appointment last week the baby weighed in at 2 pounds 2 ounces. She gained about 3 ounces in two weeks. Good job little girl!
Our Cesarean has been scheduled and both Timmy and I are feeling pretty peaceful about it. We are scheduled for Tuesday, February 5, 2013. This will put us at exactly 38 weeks. We only have 5-1/2 weeks left until we meet our baby girl. The last week has been spent trying to force ourselves to think about what needs to be done and what our wishes are. This is hard! Not only do we have the major decisions to make like what to do when she’s born as far as treatment, but also little things like clothes and blankets and stuff. Fortunately, our family has provided us with some blankets, clothes and a cute little bunny for her, which takes a huge weight off my mind because honestly the idea of going shopping for baby items is not the most appealing for me right now. Plus I love that she has items from people who love her.
We have had several people ask about where to send cards of encouragement and, if and when the time comes, condolence. Any cards we receive will go in her baby book and any gifts will be saved in her hope chest. We ask for your prayers more than anything else, of course.
Tim and Jessica Legan
c/o Grace Crossing, a Community Church of Christ
105 FM 1488
Conroe, TX 77384
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:6
Timmy and I have put a lot of thought into what to name this little girl. We want her name to be meaningful. We have decided, given the circumstances and the continued expectation by doctors that she will not live, to give her a name that is appropriate for our experience with her and her time here. We have decided to name her Epiphany Faith Legan.
Epiphany – “sudden appearance; a revelatory manifestation of a divine being”
Faith – “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1
I love the meaning of Epiphany. I think it is appropriate since her life is expected to be very short, just moments with her, a sudden appearance. As for the second meaning, I don’t believe this baby is a divine being. She is human, through and through. But if she doesn’t live, all her little soul will know is Heaven and I think that makes her special. I can’t quite wrap my brain around the fact that she will be a human who has only experienced Heaven. And of course, Faith is representative of our journey, how we have completely put our faith in Christ to take care of our family and do what is best for each of us.
As we get closer and closer to the end, the days get harder and harder. The tears are coming more frequently and without warning. The unknown is getting scarier. What can we expect when we see her? How long will we get with her? What can we expect when we go home from the hospital? We’re in a state of waiting and relying on God. We desperately pray for an undeniable miracle. We are trying to prepare for what the doctors have told us. We are trying to get ready to say goodbye, but we know God is capable of amazing things. But not our will, but His. Lord, please spare us this terrible tragedy. Please give us a last minute miracle. Please completely heal this baby’s body and brain. But again, not our will, but Yours and if You choose to bring this baby home to You, please heal our broken hearts. Please give us peace and comfort. And I pray Lord that when the time is right, You will bless us with a child that we can bring home with us and raise up for Your glory. Thank you for baby Pippy and the many blessings You give us each day.