“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)
I am two weeks, one day post surgery. The rollercoaster continues, but now it’s more like a kiddie ride. We have our moments of tearfulness and other moments of joy. The healing process has gone relatively well with only one minor, temporary setback. I’m feeling pretty good physically, just easily worn out. I’m feeling pretty good emotionally as well, again, just easily worn out.
Today is Valentine’s Day and I can’t help but think back to when I found out I was pregnant. I found out pretty much immediately, but for those two weeks of waiting to see what the stick would say I went to every pregnancy prediction website I could find. I did countless ovulation and due date calculators. I even found a website that showed pregnancy symptoms on a daily basis and I swear I know when that baby implanted. Well early on, according to my calculations, my due date was February 14, 2013. I thought that was the coolest thing ever! I thought it would be such a neat reminder of our love to have our baby born on Valentine’s Day. That of course didn’t happen and even at my first doctor appointment in July of last year they gave me a due date of February 19.
Neither Timmy nor I are very big celebrators of V-Day, meaning we have no problem having our special date night be several days before or after the 14th. That most likely would not have changed had Pippy been born today. Actually, Valentine’s date night probably would have been forgotten completely due to birthday party planning and such.
This Valentine’s Day I find myself being even more grateful for the wonderful man God has placed in my life. I am amazed at his love and support. He is my earthly comforter, my best friend, my favorite person. He is the sweetest and most understanding man. He is an amazing husband and father! I am totally in love with him.
Yesterday we started getting back into the swing of things…kind of. We picked up Pippy’s ashes and had a doctor appointment. Everything went well there. My doctor told me things are looking beautiful and I’m free to do pretty much whatever I want. So I went shopping…and then realized I’m not quite there yet so I took a nap. She also told us again there is a less than 1% chance of having a child in the future with Trisomy 13. She actually said it’s “much less” than 1%. She said it would be best for me physically to wait at least 6-9 months before getting pregnant again, which is totally fine with us. We are looking forward to getting back into the swing of things and just enjoying each other. We are looking forward to the time when God again blesses us with another child and we pray for that child’s health and safety already.
Today Timmy returned to work. He was going a little stir crazy at home and decided it was time to get back to his routine…kind of. He’s returning to work on a limited basis, so he won’t be working his full-time, crazy schedule just yet. I’m hoping and praying his first day back was easy and profitable and that the return to normalcy is good.
I too attempted to return to normal today…kind of. My mom and I went to a couple stores and out to lunch. I picked out some stickers and paper for Pippy’s baby book. After four hours of being out and about, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I do pretty well for the most part, but there are a few things that set me on the verge of tears. And unfortunately, you just never know what those things are going to be. For example, I’m pretty sure I was surrounded by newborns and pregnant women today. Of course, I’m going to notice these things more because I’m more sensitive to them right now. I had to continually remind myself that my baby is doing well and I have no need to worry about her. I’m thankful she is not suffering or struggling. I know our time will come and I believe God will bless us with more children and one day our family will be complete in Heaven. I was also set off slightly by a “My First Valentine’s Day” bib and a duckie shower curtain that was on sale.
I was able to get quite a few picture frames and our gifts for the grandparents as well as the paper and stickers for the baby book. I’m looking forward to working on those things! I love the pictures our friend Allison did. She is so talented. I’ve included several below. I will post more once the grandparents have received their gifts. Spoiler alert grandparents: it’s pictures! I encourage you to check out Allison’s website, www.feather-nest.com, and consider her for your photo needs if you are in The Woodlands area. You will not be disappointed!
Getting back to it is going to be a journey in and of itself. It’s going to take time and I’m not the most patient person. I’m working on that though. I love the verse above because it says He will lift us up in his due time. I know from my experiences that God’s timing is always best. Unfortunately for us, our human nature doesn’t always let us fully feel that until we are on the other side of the experience. I’m doing my best to trust His timing and His will, to cast all my cares on Him and fully allow Him to heal our hearts. I will try to be patient and not push myself to heal faster, physically and emotionally. He has blessed us beyond imagination, just as we knew He would. He continues to bless us and we are excited to see what He has planned for our future!
I hope you enjoy these few pictures as much as we do!!